It’s not you men. It’s the space between us that I use to make words. Those two magnets held by a strong, bowed wire is the perfect metaphor: I never, ever want us to touch because my unconscious says men are selfish, irresponsible, and unsafe.
Safety from all of you has been my muse, protection my raw material. I’m not addicted to “love”, it’s actually the inverse, I’m “addicted” to distance and space. I set everyone up to run away. My unconscious believes it’s protecting me from men because the first man of my life is not capable of loving and protecting me. He’s not safe or responsible. And over the years distance blossomed into many different forms; I took myself around the world; I never let anyone get too close; I made beautiful words with all that space and protection; I moulded it; I reformed loneliness.
I’m reclaiming the space now. I'm moving into it.